“I Had That Same Dream Again” is a ten-year-old Manga story translated into English only four years ago. While I first read this story out of spite in my sophomore year, it quickly became one of my favorite stories to date. Even as I re-read it for this review, I can confidently say that its message has aged like fine wine. You follow a girl named Nanoka who might be in elementary. They do not specify, but it is quite believable with the pictures to go off and how she acts. Her class is given a task: determining what makes them happy. While her teacher praises her for being good with her words, she seems to struggle to figure out what makes her happy.
Fortunately, she has these friends she visits often, whom she goes to for help. You start to piece together a certain pattern as you get to know these three. While I am not exactly the quickest, friends who also read this book almost immediately got it before it was spelled out for you. Three endings, Nanoka was seeing. Three endings, with only one right end.
First, Skank. You never know the three friends’ real names, so bear with me. She’s an outcast who lives alone, tormented by her past, and needs to be better than everyone. She ended up alone because of it, until Nanoka started to visit her. While they do not flat out say it, they insinuate that this need has led her down the path of prostitution. She needed this in her mind to feel something. As she tells her story to Nanoka, she says
“…But the girl did not mind at all. Ruining her life felt good. She hated her life, even though she made it that way…”
While I will not spoil the rest of her story, her path was horrible. It’s absolutely heart-wrenching what she’d put herself through, and she owns up to the fact that she did this to herself. How often have you messed up so badly and still known it was your fault? Her story helps Nanoka make up with her friend and put down her pride for once.
Next, Minami. She’s a teen Nanoka meets on top of a building, who has wrecked herself both physically and mentally. She blamed herself for her parents’ deaths. Grown numb, she began to cut. She grew hysterical, finding Nanoka too stubborn to make up with her parents, which is valid considering she never got to make up with her own before the incident.
“I don’t want you… to lose them without making up, like me. So.. promise me. You can do it tomorrow. It doesn’t matter if you can’t do it today. But make sure you make it up. You can’t.. turn back time.”
While her ending is more neutral, it was still saddening to see what was once a bright child grow to be so self-sabotaging over something she couldn’t ever predict. She helped Nanoka make up with her parents, and they ended up not going on their trip and instead going to her school function.
Lastly, what seems to be the best possible path is Granny. She is a little old woman who has lived her life to the fullest and is content with how she turned out. However, she recounts times when she had not made up with the people she wished she could’ve, and she had thought about ending her own life after destroying her body to the point of disdain. She didn’t, though.
“I was able to be on someone precious’s side. I loved my friends and family, and though I hurt people, I wanted to be kind. That’s why my life was full of happiness, and I could walk down the path of a life full of happiness.”
These three paths weave together near the end and come from Nanoka’s soul. Each dream helps her figure out the right choices, and each action brings her one step closer to finding out what makes her happy. And, in the end, she does.
At the end of this tear-jerker—and believe me when I say tearjerker, as I was sobbing as I reread this—I found myself with a new sense of self. The Manga as a whole gets you thinking. This is not only about the question that Nanoka carries around the whole story, but also about what you’re doing with your own life. I’m left wondering, am I living life in ways I will not regret? Would I make both the future and the past me proud? The writing is phenomenal, and it was the right choice to make the main character a stubborn little girl who thinks she knows it all. The art is stunning, as you can capture the love the artist put into making the story stand out. This book reaches the soul, even if you are not a manga reader. I highly recommend reading as soon as possible; prepare, as you need a lot of tissues!
But first, what makes you happy?
